THE BODY’S RESPONSE TO STRESS

Stress response triggers changes in the nervous, endocrine and immune systems. Physiologically, the sympathetic nervous system, the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and the behavioural flight-or-flight response are activated.^* 

• Cortisol, a steroid hormone gets released into the bloodstream by the adrenal glands
• An increase in heart rate and blood pressure
• A redirection of blood to larger muscle groups
• Airways are constricted leading to a shortness of breath and rapid breathing
• The gastrointestinal tract – changes in how fast food gets digested
• Increased blood-glucose levels
• Muscles get tense

Many of these physiological responses to stress are activated by the sympathetic nervous system which also triggers a rush of adrenaline throughout the entire body.

WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF STRESS?

Again, today’s causes of stress are related to keeping yourself in a constant loop of busyness which is mainly caused by feelings of inadequacy.

• The need to feel accepted with a particular group of people such your colleagues or your peer group. You get into people pleasing and begin to undermine your values and compromise your well-being.
• Excessive workouts prevent your body in returning to a good state of homeostasis and keep in a state of stress.
• Worrying The Canadian Payroll Association reported 2019 survey findings that money was a the main source of worry for over 43% for employed Canadian workers.
• Long work days In 2014 it was reported that nearly 9% of Canadians are working over 50 hours a week
• Workplace stress which includes feeling isolated, under-valued and over-worked.
• Social media causes inadequacy about your life, increases feelings of loneliness and increases anxiety and depression.
• Pressure to succeed many young people are constantly doing more in an effort to uphold perceived expectations of them.
• Relationships intertwined with control, and a lack of understanding and setting healthy boundaries.

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF STRESS?

The consequences of stress if left ignored can lead to chronic illnesses and can cause you to live an undesired lifestyle.

Physical – heart disease, diabetes, gastrointestinal problems, long-lasting migraines, a compromised microbiota and premature death.

Cognitive – long-term depression and anxiety, memory loss, and a decrease in focus and clarity.

Behavioural – easily frustrated with family and friends, irritable, easily angered, and withdrawn. 

Emotional – guilt, low self-esteem, lack of motivation and excessive worrying.

OTHER EFFECTS OF STRESS

Some other noticeable effects of stress are: problems with sleeping, upset stomach, working out too little or too much, hair loss, decrease in appetite, unhealthy eating patterns, negative behaviours such as nail biting, panic attacks, and fatigue.

IS IT WORTH IT TO KEEP YOURSELF BUSY?

It’s understandable that you have bills to pay, but if you’re keeping yourself busy to satisfy your desire to feel more adequate, accepted and liked; then you may just be compromising your health and well-being.

There are other ways to cope with unsettled feelings such as: speaking to a counsellor/therapist, informing your doctor about your health concerns, being more present, regulating your emotions, and to spending more time with yourself doing things that bring you joy. When you begin to tap into who you really are and what you actually want for yourself versus what you are spending your time doing; you will begin to let go of certain undesirable tasks and thoughts and begin to better take care of your well-bein

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THE GUT-BRAIN AXIS

Emotions adjust both your mental and bodily states. We are constantly being prepared to react to dangers and opportunities. There are many types of research that support a correlation between the gut and brain. The Journal of Australian Traditional-Medicine Society (2019) states,‘the intestinal microbiota influences that brain mainly through the vagus nerve by the neural and humeral means of the gut-brain axis.^*

Physical symptoms that your gut-brain axis may be compromised are: abdominal cramps, loose stools, headaches and fatigue. Your gut bacteria which weighs 1-2 kgs make up your microbiome and it helps to digest food, regulate your immune system and your moods. By supporting a healthy gut, you can reduce your levels of depression and anxiety. You can do this by incorporating probiotic rich foods into your diet such as kimchi, yogurt, kefir, roots vegetables and apple cider vinegar.

A MOOD BOOSTING DIET

Serotonin is a ‘happy hormone.’ It’s responsible for elevating your mood and 90-95% of it is produced in your gut. A diet mainly consisting of sugar, high fat and fried foods can negatively affect your moods. Eating every 2-3 hours can reduce your cravings for such foods and help you maintain healthy insulin levels. Studies reveal that a mediterranean style diet is rich in anti-oxidants and it promotes good health by lowering coronary and chronic diseases because it is low on saturated fat:

• Abundant in plant based foods: fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries, beans, grains, cereals, potatoes and breads.
• Dairy, eggs and fats – cheeses, yogurts and olive oils are eaten in moderation.
• Fish and poultry consumed in low to moderate amounts.
• Red meals, wine and alcohol – eaten in low amounts and wine is usually consumed with meals.

KEEP CALM AND MOVE ON

A healthy amount of movement in the form of: exercise, walking and stretching keeps your body in a calm and relaxed state because it releases endorphins which is another happy hormone and it aids with relaxing your muscles and relieving your body of tension. All forms of exercise reveal positive impacts to both your body and mind; specifically exercise in the form of strength training, cycling, running, swimming and other aerobic activities. Exercising three to five times a week for forty-five minutes is ideal for optimal body-mind health as it promotes a healthy heart and strong muscles.

SLEEP TO RESET YOUR BODY AND MIND

Ghrelin and leptin are hormones that influence hunger and appetite. Ghrelin is produced and secreted by the stomach – it is the hunger hormone. Leptin is produced in adipose tissues (fat cells). Leptin tells the brain when you are full and have enough fat for energy. Both these hormones get secreted into the circulatory system into the brain and send signals to the hypothalamus (a small almond size part of the brain that controls when and how much you eat.

Studies point out that a reduction in sleep leads to abnormalities in the processing of blood sugar because your body’s hormones do not get enough rest to reset itself which leads to increase in hunger and appetite. A lack of sleep is also associated with a high calorie diet. Both ghrelin and leptin help with metabolism and maintain homeostasis within your body.

THE  LYMPHATIC SYSTEM AND THE BENEFITS OF MASSAGE

The lymphatic system has two main functions: to drain lymph fluid formed in the tissues and to produce lymphocytes which help the body fight off illness. It is comprised up of a network of vessels throughout the body that works to remove waste such as: fats, proteins, sugars, hormones and toxins from every cell. If lymph vessels become stagnant it can lead to fatigue, inflammation, bloating, water retention, weight gain and illness. Rhythmical compression from massages creates natural movement for lymph to flow removing wastes from body tissue.

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WHAT EXACTLY IS THE EGO?

The ego is the part of your psyche that protects your id. Your id operates on a subconscious level which represents your most animalistic urges such as desire for food, sex and impulsive pleasures. At the time of your birth, your id was developed, but your ego wasn’t. Your ego most likely started to develop between the ages of three and five.

• Your ego operates both on a conscious and subconscious level.

• Your ego develops through observing the behaviours of people the closest to you when you are growing up.
• It becomes your own construction of your identity based on your beliefs and experiences.
• It is the meditator between your id and your superego – the part of the psyche that works in contrast to your id. It holds internalized morals and provides guidelines for judgments. This develops between the ages of five and seven.
• Overtime, your ego may begin to give you a false image of your reality by resorting to fear-based thinking and leading you to react to situations with anxiety.

HOW TO SPOT THE EGO

The ego is not easy to spot unless you are in a complete state of self-awareness. Many of the times, the ego is masked behind judgments, limiting

beliefs, opinions, anger, jealousy, worry, fear, anxiety, depression and people pleasing. Although, you are aware of these feelings, behaviours and emotions; you feel they are justified because for years you have been conditioned to protect your id rather than to observe your overall identity and control your responses. Here is what to become more aware of:

• When you’re genuinely happy; it’s coming from a place of awareness and inner truth. When you aren’t feeling fulfilled or satisfied with a situation; it’s led by the ego.
• You are holding onto beliefs and opinions about yourself that aren’t true of your current reality.
• Rather than processing certain situations, you react emotionally.
• People pleasing prevents you from being yourself, exercising your beliefs and using your voice
• Self-criticism and blame takes over your mind space and guilt sinks in keeping you from self-reflecting and understanding the root of an issue.
• Attachment to outcomes and situations rather than being unattached 

WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF AN OVERACTIVE EGO?

The consequences of having an overactive ego if left untamed can lead you towards chronic illness.

• Acceptance seeking – you will constantly be seeking approval from others and become obsessed with others think of you rather than moving forward with your own ideas.
• Comparative – constantly trying to be better than others and compete rather than foster a collaborative relationship.
• Perfection – exhaustion and stress caused by unrealistic expectations.
• Showcasing excellence – becoming the centre of attention by placing focus primarily on one’s own self.

LETTING GO OF THE EGO

You need to detach yourself from opinions, judgements and beliefs that do not represent your reality. The ego needs to be nurtured rather than nourished. By nurturing your ego, you respond to uncomfortable situations by introspection rather than internalization.

Begin to recognize the source of every thought and emotion as they come up and also accept your flaws and limitations. Give yourself permission to be yourself and to reveal the authentic you by opening your mind about how you see yourself and others.

Separate yourself from the false identity that your ego has created for you by re-programming your mind to reinforce your value system and to align your beliefs with your behaviours.

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With the case of developing a fixed mindset, over time you may have learned to associate a certain stimulus that you’ve been conditioned to with a conditioned response. For example, perhaps you’ve always been around negative, unsupportive people and their opinions have led you to turn your back on certain opportunities out of fear of being negatively judged. Later in life you may be in the company of uplifting and positive people, but you may perceive their good-hearted feedback as being judged this may create the same fear in you causing you to back down on potential success. What if you learn to reduce your fear of potential judgements and teach yourself to cope with unwanted situations and move ahead?

ACCEPTANCE AND COMMITMENT THERAPY

ACT was developed by Steven C. Hayes in 1982. It helps people unlearn limiting behaviours by acknowledging them and embracing their thoughts and feelings. It incorporates mindfulness along with behaviour change strategies to get one to commit to actions that will enrich their life.*

The ACT framework consists of six core processes:

1. Acceptance – allow the negative conditioned behaviour.
2. Cognitive Defusion – view the experience from opposite views.
3. Being Present – awareness of the present without predicting the outcome.
4. Self as Context – self outside of the experience.
5. Values – establishing core beliefs.
6. Committed Action – committing to action and positive behaviour changes consistent with values.

ACT is a third wave therapy which prioritizes health promotion from a holistic approach of behavioural and psychological processes and eliminate limiting behaviours by diminishing classical and negative operate conditioning.

OPERANT CONDITIONING FOR SUCCESSFUL HABITS

B.F. Skinner was a behavioural psychologist and he developed the theory of operant conditioning – it’s the idea that behaviour is determined by its consequences; whether it be by reinforcements or punishments that will either reduce or increase a certain behaviour.

Operant conditioning is the result of behaviours you exhibit that are under conscious control – this can be applied to the way you learn and unlearn certain habits and behaviours. There are two components of this type of conditioning: reinforcement and punishment:

1. Reinforcement is any event that either strengthens or increases a behaviour. There are two kinds of reinforcers:
   
   a. Positive reinforcers – favourable outcomes after the behaviour occurs. Such as keeping up with your fitness routine for a week and then rewarding yourself with a treat meal.
   
   b. Negative reinforcers – the removal of unfavourable events after the behaviour occurs. You may have done a good job on a project at work and your boss doesn’t micromanage you as much.
   
2. Punishment is an event that causes a decrease in a certain behaviour. There are two kinds of punishments: 
   
   a. Positive punishment – the outcome that weakens a certain behaviour following an event. Maybe your fitness coach may add one mile run to every workout because you haven’t been committed to your program.
   
   b. Negative reinforcers – a favourable outcome or event is removed after a behaviour occurs. If you don’t follow deadlines, your boss may remove the mini basketball net in the office.

STRENGTHEN YOUR POSITIVE BEHAVIOURS

As you know, setting small goals motivates individuals to take action. Consider incorporating operant conditioning reinforcers into your action plan to better establish success habits as you work towards fulfilling your goals.

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JOURNALING AND HEALTH BENEFITS

For every moment that you experience, you feel a different emotion, and you develop different thoughts which your mind catalogues as unique memories. Also, your body reacts to the emotions that you feel by responding to the level of stress or ease that you are experiencing. Every situation that you encounter in your life relates to your well-being. 

The action of writing your experiences, feelings, thoughts and reflections in a journal can add to your personal growth and even decode the mysteries of happiness. Furthermore, many studies reveal that writing is positively correlated with: healing chronic illnesses, reducing anxiety and depression, and treating stress and various disorders and addictions. For example, in a 1988 study led by psychologist, James W. Pennebaker, PhD and his colleagues asked 50 healthy undergraduate students to write about their traumatic experiences or superficial topics for four consecutive days. Six weeks after the writing exercise, students that wrote about their traumas experienced positive subjective well-being – better moods and fewer illnesses. ^*

EXPRESSIVE WRITING

Expressive writing can help you identify negative patterns in their day-to-day life, better cope with stress, gain personal insight and also to find meaning and greater life satisfaction. There isn’t a right or wrong way to journal. You simply just need to be open to the the process and write in whichever way or format that is best suited for you. Here are some ways that you can engage yourself in journaling on the daily:

Free-writing – begin to write about anything that comes to your mind and let your immediate thoughts guide you. You will be surprised at how reflective this is.

Randomized words – write down a few words on different pieces of paper and fold them up (or ask someone to come up with the words for you). Start by picking up one piece of paper to reveal the word, set a one-minute timer and write whatever comes to your mind. 

Repeat the steps for each word. At the end of this writing session, you may discover a certain thought pattern or a creative pastime developing.

Future self journaling – on every new moon or during a particular time of the month, make a journal entry from six months in to the future. This helps kickstart your visualization process and also helps you create intentions and goals for yourself. Also, you will be amazed to read your journal entries in the future to find out that you are living the life that you created on paper!

Short-story – write a short story or fairy tale – this can lead you into writing your life’s story in a creative way.

Gillie Bolton, a writer and researcher suggests writing for at least six minutes. Twenty minutes is ideal to get to the core of your self exploration. Regardless of the manner that you choose to write in, remember that you own this process. There are no rules of writing or organization that you need to follow. Just go with the flow.

UNCOVER YOUR HAPPINESS AND CREATE YOUR STORY

When you make journaling a daily habit, you end up becoming a researcher of your own self and a conscious creator of your future life. That’s right! You gain all control over the mood, the tone and the theme of the upcoming super hit series of your life! Once you grab a handle on journaling, be sure to include these elements into your writing practice:

1. Include your intentions. When you write down your intentions whether it be by goal-setting or creatively; you are actually developing a deeper belief within you about your abilities and you are more likely to take action.
2. Reflect. By writing about your thoughts and situations, you actually start to examine them objectively and uncover life lessons – an opportunity to grow.
3. Accept. Exercise self-compassion and accept the feelings and emotions that may flow out onto the paper.

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You may be be waking up each day and tirelessly pushing yourself into doing all sorts of meaningless tasks, being the selfless people pleaser to everyone and and feeling the need to constantly criticize yourself for not being ‘perfect.’

As a result, you end up going to sleep each night being consumed with how ‘badly’ your day went and how it could have been better. You fog up your mind with what went wrong rather than all the things that went right, and you end up in a constant flow of life dissatisfaction.

You know that you want to improve but you don’t have the awareness of how or what to change so you can breeze through each day feeling healthy, happy and successful.

FUELLING YOUR DAY WITH KINDNESS

There have been countless studies published concluding that performing acts of kindness has positive psychological effects on your overall well-being. A 2019 publication fro the Journal of Social Psychology cites, ‘performing kindness activities for seven days increases happiness.’ *

Kindness is simply being nice to someone and/or yourself and it is motivated for the sole reason to genuinely want to help someone without expecting anything in return. Also the act of kindness act does not have to be any of grand scale. It can be as simple as opening the door for someone, smiling at a stranger, or acknowledging your very own strong traits and praising yourself for it.

The positive effects of being kind are^*:

• Increases overall subjective well-being
• Improves how others see you and accept you
• It’s positively correlated with self-regulation
• Can lower the effects of stress
• Increases your happy hormones: serotonin, endorphins and oxytocin. 
• Leads to a reduction of risk of disease
• Reduces depression and anxiety
• It is good for your heart health

HEART MATH

Acts of kindness leads to a healthier heart because kindness increases hormones like oxytocin and serotonin which are happy hormones. This positively changes the rhythm of the heart which supports greater cognitive and emotional function of the brain. Research from The Heart Math Institute indicates that there is a heart to brain communication of information that occurs promoting self regulation and good health.*

GRATITUDE AND WELL-BEING

A form of kindness is showing gratitude. Consistently expressing gratitude is linked to more happiness because gratitude helps you feel more positive emotions. It also helps you focus on what you currently have instead of dwelling on what you don’t have. 

Research from Berkeley University provides insight on the psychological effects of expressing gratitude^*:

• Removes toxic emotions – your mental health improves as you begin to feel more positive and become more focused on happy moments. 
• Writing– gratitude lists or letters help you better feel positive emotions and place you in a higher state of well-being.
• Greater life satisfaction – you are happier simply by expressing gratitude for everything you have.
• Re-programs your brain – your brain begins to align itself with all of your positive experiences and functions from a more happier place.
• Kindness – you unselfishly want to help others and spread more compassion.
• Self-control – you become more patient and learn to better regulate your emotions.
• Self-worth – increases self-worth and confidence.

Although the health benefits of expressing gratitude may take time and consistency, it is important to note that each time you receive or express gratitude; dopamine is released in your brain. Like serotonin, oxytocin and endorphins; dopamine is a feel good hormone which influences positive behaviours and thought patterns.

KEEPING A GRATITUDE JOURNAL

A gratitude journal serves many outcomes. By listing or writing about all the things, situations and people that you are grateful for, you have potential to improve your eating habits, decrease your negative emotions and improve your heart health by reducing stress and inflammation levels in your body.

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Over time, ancient philosophers, scientists and theorists have come up with many definitions of what it means to live with meaning. Current research in modern psychology supports a comprehensive understanding of meaning developed by University of Connecticut researchers, George and Park:

• Comprehension – the degree to which people perceive a sense of coherence (SOC) and understanding about their lives. This is compromised of three main components: comprehensibility, manageability and meaningfulness.
• Purpose – the extent to which people experience life as being motivated by their goals, values and beliefs. 
• Mattering – the degree to which individuals feel that their lives are of value and significance to the world (George and Park, 2014).

One way to satisfy this three component theory to not only bring more meaning in life but to increase your well-being, creativity and productivity is by engaging in activities and work that keep you engaged in a manner whereby your focus and attention do not get broken for another task. Also, time becomes non-existent. 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE

That’s right – do what you love. This allows you to cultivate flow. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a positive psychology researcher interviewed 8,000 people all around the world: artists, athletes, musicians, nuns etc. He wanted to know what people experienced when they achieved optimal levels of performance. He also wanted to know what influenced their positive

state of well-being. Csikszentmihalyi came up with the term ‘flow state.’ He noticed that when he interviewed people, many described being engaged in a task or activity that seemed rather effortless and engaging – as being in their flow. Amongst the thousands of people that Csikszentmihalyi interviewed, he found that regardless of one’s culture or education there are seven conditions that are present when one is experiencing flow:

1. Completely involved in what you’re doing – focused, concentrated.
2. A sense of ecstasy – of being outside everyday reality.
3. Great inner clarity – knowing what needs to be done, and how well you’re doing it.
4. Knowing that the activity is doable – that your skills are adequate to the task.
5. A sense of serenity – no worries about oneself, and a feeling of growing beyond the boundaries of the ego.
6. Timelessness – thoroughly focused on the present, hours seem to pass by in minutes.
7. Intrinsic motivation – whatever produces flow becomes its own reward.

When your skills and challenges are higher than average, you can get yourself to a place of flow and you become passionate about what you’re working on.

WHAT’S GOING ON IN THE BRAIN DURING FLOW?

Many people that experience flow tend to have an autotelic personality – internally driven people with a tendency to engage in an activity for its own sake. Autotelic personalities tend to be more self regulated, have a high interest in life and are less stressed.

During a flow state, the following changes occur in the brain:

• When there is concentration on fulfilling a goal, there is reduced activity in the prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for decision making, reflecting and organizing). 
• The brain goes into an alpha wave state. The alpha is the resting state and it aids in learning, resting and alertness.
• Endorphins, norepinephrine, anandamide, serotonin and dopamine are released due to real-time feedback, increased curiosity, feelings of control and motivation brought on by goal fulfillment.

The temporary inactivation of the prefrontal cortex down-regulates by a process called transient hypofrontality causing an individual to lose self-consciousness, to quiet their inner critic and to experience distortion of time during a flow state.

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• The brain stem which comprises of the spinal cord and connects the brain to the rest of your body and regulates physiological processes such as respiration and heart rate.
• The limbic area which help regulate emotions (amygdala)  and works with other features of the brain to create various forms of memory (hippocampus).

• The cortex which includes the prefrontal cortex this allows you to think and reflect. It also lets you to manage and regulate your emotions, desires and impulses. This is also where your mind develops awareness and subjective experiences.

WHY YOU PROCRASTINATE

If you find yourself having big ideas but you tend to spend your time doing senseless tasks instead of implementing your ideas, then it may be time for you to confront your emotions. That’s right, procrastination isn’t a time management problem, it’s more of a challenge with you regulating your emotions. You may actually be worried about failure, or your mind may take you on a trip down memory lane back to an experience where you may have not done as well as you

expected on a project or task. Some behaviours that you may exhibit are:

• Rumination being fixated on certain aspects of your life.
• Comparison, scrolling your social media feeds
• Engaging with activities that drive your impulses and give you momentary pleasure such as playing games.

GROWTH MINDSET VERSUS FIXED MINSET

A fixed mindset is going with the status quo or not being able to site a reason for change. It’s the type of mindset in which you may be less fluid and more rigid in your way of thinking. Growth mindset is creating opportunities for success, it’s the ability to see the big picture in bringing about a positive change. It’s also your level of health and happiness that bring attention to you.

HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOUR FIXED MINDSET

You can begin to raise your awareness and combat your fixed mindset by:

• Catching yourself when your mind gets into a negative loop of doubt and worry. When this happens, nurture your thoughts, reflect as to why you have developed a fear-based way of thinking at any moment and tell yourself that you are in a different place. It’s time to flow forward.
• Being aware of your level of happiness. If you aren’t entirely happy with certain aspects of your life; write out why you may not be happy and list some things that you would like to change.
• Recognizing negative experiences that you keep attracting. What attitudes, behaviours and thoughts might need to transform?

THE PHYSIOLOGICAL AFFECTS OF  WORRY-FILLED THINKING

Many times when you fill yourself up with worries, doubts, and fears; it comes from your level of subjective awareness. This means that you may not be totally aware of how well you are actually doing because you may slip into self-criticism. What happens is that your mind begins to scan its memory bank for similar situations you’ve experienced that may have had an undesirable outcome and you start to associate your past experiences with your present moment. Your body also begins to feel the physiological affects of your thinking:

• Muscles tensing up – your shoulder and leg muscles may tighten up preparing itself for some type of threatening situation.
• Tight jaw muscles and headaches will come on which will bring on moment of unrest
• Increased heart rate/elevated blood pressure can bring on potential panic attacks.
• Shallow breathing is a common symptom of anxiety.
• Increased or decreased intestinal and/or bladder activity – your body may begin to secrete certain chemicals or hormones that can affect your digestive organs.

Your mind can’t distinguish between your actual reality and your imagination or your past thoughts. Therefore, it’s important for you to be aware of your thoughts that don’t accurately represent your present moment.

YOUR MOOD ALSO  GETS AFFECTED

Yes! Even though your present reality may be so much better than your past; when you begin to worry about an outcome that hasn’t occurred yet your mood will undergo a subtle change.

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When you expose a defenceless side of you, many will begin to expect more from you or try to take more than what you are willing to give.

As a result you begin to compromise your well-being.

SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LACKING BOUNDARIES FOR YOURSELF

When you don’t set boundaries, many times you begin to exhibit avoidance behaviours:

• Ghost certain people or groups. You cease all communication without any sort of reasoning.
• Make excuses to avoid telling certain people what you feel or that you don’t have the time to be in their company.
• Isolate yourself in certain situations by keeping yourself ‘busy’ or occupied.
• Anxiety comes from a place of worry that you have let others down; therefore, you make partial eye contact and give little verbal cues.

• Frustration towards your friends and family. You may lash out those that are close to you because you are avoiding confronting those that drain you.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO SET BOUNDARIES

In short, it’s good for your subjective well-being. By setting boundaries, you’re sending out a strong message about how you value and honour yourself. You are protecting your energy from leaking and keeping yourself from feeling drained.

When you don’t set boundaries or set loose ones, you become an open ground for every type of situation and people to come onto ‘your land’ and violate your space. Having boundaries will help attract more of what you’re aligned with and restrict that of which appears toxic to you.

Think of it this way: the boundaries that you set for yourself will give you the necessary conditions to grow and to flourish by keeping out ‘foreign invaders’ that may contribute towards stunning your growth.

TYPES OF BOUNDARIES

It’s important to set these five types of boundaries: emotional, physical, cognitive and time.

• Emotional boundaries are about separating your feelings, moods and attitudes from that of others. In other words, not letting others emotions dictate your feelings.

• Physical boundaries allow you to communicate what level of physical closeness you are comfortable with and what you feel is inappropriate.

• Cognitive boundaries are for your thoughts so they don’t fill you up with worries and fears.

• Time boundaries allow you prioritize your schedule based on your needs before taking others into consideration.

• Professional boundaries foster healthy relationships in the work place by establishing clarity and trust.

HOW TO SET BOUNDARIES

Setting boundaries isn’t as challenging as it may appear to be as long as you are clear on how you always want to feel in each moment. Follow these four simple steps to set effective and self defining boundaries for yourself:

• Write down three feelings that you constantly want to feel in every moment of each day

• List certain experiences you’ve recently had where you feel that your level of well-being declined. Do you see a pattern in what types of boundaries that you need to become better at setting? Are they mostly physical? Emotional? Cognitive? Time? Professional?

• Write down a script for the three main types of situations where you notice your lack of boundaries are set. For example, if you are noticing that certain people keep taking up your time, you can say; ‘Thanks for the chat, but I need to get back to (the task that you are engaged in).

• Create an if/then strategy. Outline possible responses that you may receive in refute of your boundaries.

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LEARN ACCEPTANCE

Rather than becoming a victim to rumination, worrying and anxiety – it’s scientifically proven that when you learn to recognize and accept your negative experiences and emotions and acknowledge their existence at the time they occur, you will become a victor rather than a slave towards such tendencies. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and/or mindfulness are proven to be effective ways to bring

about awareness and acceptance for individuals experiencing physical or psychological pain. Ron Siegel, an Assistant Clinical of Psychology Professor at Harvard Medial School mentions a study on his blog and indicates the positive benefits of CBT by writing, “It helps us learn to observe and identify our negative thoughts about our condition, and replace them with more realistic ones.” ^*

THE SCIENCE OF MINDFULNESS

There have been many neuroscience research studies done on how mindfulness positively correlates to better cognitive function.  One study revealed that mindfulness reduces inflammation in those experiencing chronic stress. The research found that mindfulness increased connections between the

amygdala and the prefrontal cortex – which helped these parts of the brain be less reactive to stressors (Berkeley University, Greater Good, 2017). ^* Also an article in a 2011 publication of Psychiatry Res. cites a study where fMRI images revealed explicit changes in concentration in brain regions that are involved in learning, memory and emotional regulation.^*

THE BENEFITS OF BEING PRESENT

There’s no denying that both the Western and Eastern worlds associate more happiness and greater health with mindfulness. Eckhart Tolle says, “With the simple act of surrender to the inevitability of the present moment, another energy comes.” Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk and a spiritual teacher tells us to focus on our breath and recite mindfulness versus to help calm our mind, to accept what’s in front of us and to return back to ourselves. These actions provide us with physical, cognitive and relational benefits:

Physical – sleep patterns improve which help our bodies restore itself, and supports major systems heal itself. Studies have also revealed that mindfulness has helped reduce chronic back pain by raising awareness of the pain and paying attention to our tendencies and specific thoughts that make us tense up. Mindfulness and focused breathing activates the parasympathetic autonomic system which places our muscles in a relaxed state, reduces our heart rate and and stimulates digestion.

Cognitive – When our minds are at ease, our hormones are better regulated and blood and sugar levels are at normal levels. This aids with better concentration, memory, organization and focus. Also, we experience lower levels of anxiety, stress and depression due to our ability to better regulate our emotions.

Relationships – Mindfulness increases our ability to build and maintain fulfilling relationships. A 2004 study of mindfulness-based relationships revealed that couples that practiced mindfulness on a regular basis experienced more happiness, less stress and developed better ways to cope with uncertainties. ^*    

BEING IN THE PRESENT AND GOAL PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

When you are fully in the present moment and embracing the time by reflecting, creating, and visualizing – you are navigating yourself into being in a place of comfort, awareness and self-compassion. These are the qualities will continue to carry you forward time and time again. The present moment will clearly reveal your next endevour and guide you towards your next action steps…

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